I was an average healthy baby, the first child of three.  When I was three months old the car I was in was hit by a drunk driver near our home in Edmonton.

My mother was driving with me strapped into a car seat beside her when we were hit head-on.  The force of the accident dislodged the seatbelt restraints and I was thrown from the seat.  My skull connected with the dash of the car, driving the glove compartment hardware right through the bone and into the soft tissue of my brain.

As a result of the accident I received substantial brain damage which required immediate brain surgery to remove bone fragments and close up the wound.  The impact of that accident has altered my life forever.

Many people don’t see anything unusual when first meeting me; the only noticeable physical damage is a slight tilt in my right eye.  Brain injury is different for every person, depending on the location and extent of the damage.  Any part of the body can be affected if the section of the brain that governs its function is destroyed.

The first warning of the severity of my injuries came when I began experiencing grand mal seizures in the hospital.  Once we were back at home my parents and doctors began noticing that I wasn’t keeping up with the typical developmental milestones for infants.  I was in and out of hospital a lot during my preschool years while doctors monitored the seizures and did various tests.  I still have clear memories of a spinal tap done when I was three years old – the smell, the conversation around me, and my awareness of the pain.  Then cysts developed in my brain, which led to more surgeries to remove them at age three and then six. 

When I was five years old my youngest sister was born.  She and I had a very special relationship until she died at age three.  My parents divorced and I was young, and I have spent periods of time living with each of them as well as my other sister.  During my school years I was supported with an aide to help my individual learning so now I can read and write fairly well.

I lost all short term memory when I suffered a fall on cement when I was six and that continues to be a major difficulty in my life, along with symptoms of unpredictable stress response, emotional intensity, hyper-sensitivity to light and sound, blackouts and recurring depression.

There are many challenges for me now living independently as an adult.  I was with an agency that provided me with a series of job coaches for several years.  After a while I began to see a pattern; at first they are glowingly optimistic about opportunities for me.  But in a few weeks I would see the approach change into more of a drill sergeant and everything would be about managing my ‘program’.

What most ‘normal’ adults get to experience as just everyday ups and downs are seen as “behavioural problem” for a disabled person.  Eventually I left there and now look for work on my own.  I would like to find a job but sometimes feel as though I am always just missing out on opportunities.  It all sounds good on the phone, but when I get there they tell me the position has already been filled.  That gets very discouraging at time. 

Another difficult thing is making friends and meeting partners.  I don’t meet very many men around here, and I have had to learn not to be so trusting.   When I was young I would get a crush on somebody and be tormented by classmates or taken advantage of.  I have to be careful, especially meeting people on-line, but I still believe that I might find the right man someday.

In many ways I am just like anyone else.  I live in my own home.  I dream of the same things any other woman of my age does – I would like to find satisfying work, enjoy fun and activities with a few close friends, even possibly fall in love and have children someday.